November 12, 2012

EMILY AT 12 WEEKS

 

 

 

 

How cute is she?!!! Her little tummy continues to grow and things continue to progress nicely. I am thinking that in about 4 more weeks she will feel some little fluttery movements and will probably move to wearing more of her maternity clothes.  She is feeling really good.  Has her energy level is back (for the most part), and other than headaches she feels good.  It is so amazing to me to see her preganacy mirror my own.  I was never sick with her, just tired for those first few months, and then just these annoying headaches. They are very, very anxious to find out what they are having so the fun (decorating etc) can begin.  Unfortunately the OB is not going to do another ultrasound until she is at 20 weeks so....looks like they are going to pay to have someplace like "Ultrasona" do one for them around Dec. 14.  Everyone seems to think/feel she is going to have a boy.  I guess we all wait and see.

 

God is so very good.  I pray every day for a happy healthy baby and an easy pregnancy and delivery.  I know He hears and answers me.  We are truly, deeply and wonderfully blessed.



October 30, 2012

Hello little one!
It has been awhile since I have written. I am very excited about finding this crib on craigslist for you. It is beautiful and I feel so fortunate to have found it.  And...I am so excited to see you in it someday soon.  I have started purchasing the bedding for you too.  It is by Cocalo and called Snickerdoodle.


It is very neutral and has lot of nice textures.  I haven't bought the complete set yet but have started with the bumper, sheet and stuffed toy. Now to find some place to set it up.  Don't worry, by the time you get here we will have it all worked out.

Your mommies tummy continues to grow (which is a good thing), and your gramps is quite excited about your pending arrival. He never balked a bit about buying a crib and the other day when he saw your mama's tummy he rubbed it and said "I wish I had a watermelon" multiple times.  That is a excerpt from Little Rascals. We got a chuckle out of it.

You are just over 10 weeks old now and with each passing week our anticipation and excitement grows.

October 15,2012

Your momma took this picture 2 days before you 8 week mark. It is so hard to believe that she is showing already.  It is very exciting to see new life growing inside of her.  Guess her body is so tiny that you growing inside is showing up really quickly.  I think it is really cute, and even though she is a little concerned about getting a pooch so quick, I think she is getting a kick out of it.  Speaking of getting a kick, I can't wait until you start fluttering and kicking in there.

I read today that you are the size of a red bean.  How can you do so much "damage" and be so very tiny.  Guess your house is growing to accomodate your constant growth.

I have managed to find quite a few maternity things for her to wear, but I think her biggest struggle is going to be the next few weeks before she feels like she can really justify wearing maternity stuff.

I am having a lot of fun looking at cribs and other essentials that are going to be needed to take care of you.  Yes, I am falling in love with you more each day and I can't wait to get your sugar and cuddle you and breath in every intoxicating baby smell of you.

xoxo

Saturday, October 13, 2010

We are a day away from you being 8 weeks.  With each passing day the excitement of you grows, and speaking of growing, you are doing a number on your moms tummy :)

Last night the St. Louis Cardinals mounted a comback from 6-0 to win game 5 agains the Washington Nationals and move onto play in the division series against the San Francisco Giants.  It was a nail-biting, nerve-racking game.  You are oblivious to it all.

This week we got to see a picture of you growing inside of your momma's belly.  Though you are just a little tiny being you are already loved very very much.  I have been busily acquiring maternity clothes for your momma.  Especially since this week an 11 year old noticed her growing tummy and made reference to the fact that maybe there are 2 in there.  Now she is very self-consciense and worried about just looking a little fat.  She does have a very cute little pooch, but would hardly call her fat.

Keep on growing strong and healthy little one.  Happy 8 week birthday.
xoxo

October 1, 2012

Yesterday marked the 6 week point.  Em is starting to feel a bit blah. Can't quite put her finger on it, just not right.  I do hope this isn't the start of a long period of being sick.  So far so good, but after watching Beth be so sick for most of her pregnancy, I wouldn't wish that on anyone.  I was very lucky that I was never sick at all. Tired and headaches, but never throwing up sick.

The days seem to be going by very slowly.  Looking forward to Em and Micah going to the doctor next week and with any luck, seeing/hearing the heartbeat.  But before that, they are going to tell Granny and Grandpa and the family on Wednesday at grandpa's 80th birthday.  Can't wait for people to know so we can talk about it.

Friday, September 21, 2012

Oh my goodness does time pass at a snails pace when you are keeping (trying extremely hard) a secret.  It also passes really slowly when your daughter tells you 2 days before her missed period that she is pregnant.  That is going to make for a long 9 months!

With each passing day my excitement at the thought of having a grandchild grows and grows.  It is very hard to see Emily so guarded, and keeping her excitement contained.  I completely understand, but it pains me to see her want to get excited and being so affraid to do so.  Being gun-shy makes things very difficult.  I am anxious for her to get thru Sunday and see her breath a sigh of relief.  I know that she is aware that nothing is for sure, but after the first experience, getting this first week under her belt will make her feel better.

It has been a week since she found out. She seems to be on tract.  He bloodwork all came back in normal ranges, and things going on in her body are all lead seeming to a point to good pregnancy.  Of course like life itself, things can turn on a dime.  In the meantime we pray hard for an easy, complete pregnancy an a healthy baby.

I can hardly wait to "get some sugar" and stare into the eyes of my baby's baby.

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Goodness, my mind is realing this morning.  It has been a stressful week worrying and stressing over the idea of Emily buying a motorcycle.  I hate the idea (yes hate is a strong word but totally fits the situation), but am coming to grips with it.  After all, I can't change it and I have expressed my feelings (loud and clear - sorry Em).

So after making some semblance of peace with Emily and the idea ... and having good a conversation with Em, she tells me she wants to come by and give me a hug and make up.  We were heading out for dinner in her direction so we said we would just come by their house.  She also said she had something for me.  After the week we had I figured it was something like a worry stone or a card to try to ease my mind, boy was I mistaken.

She handed me a gift bag (kinda heavy), I pulled out some tissue and underneath was a stick (took me a minute to process what it was), it was a pregnancy test stick with a positive result in the window!!!  I was surprised, shocked, overwhelmed and full of joy.  So happy that they were able to conceive again, and under peaceful, non-stressful, no broken bones and facing surgery circumstances!  It is still very early and anything can happen, but we have a late May baby to look forward to.

She and Micah were both beaming (especially Micah) what a wonderful 31st birthday present for him.  Now we pray that things stay on track, and we wait.  They are going to try to wait until Thanksgiving to make the announcement to the entire family. It is going to be excruciatingly difficult not to tell, but I am going to try my darndest!

I am a very happy, hopeful Grammy G!

Sunday 5/27/12,
Well, today for the third time in way to short of time, that I had to answer my phone and ask "what's wrong".  It appears that little "Poppy" didn't take and Em is having a miscarriage. :(

Poor baby really didn't need this right now, but we are clinging to the hope that due to all the trama, drugs, and xrays that "Poppy" just wasn't going to be right.  The good thing is we know they can conceive.

I will be putting Grammy G on hold for now.  Rest assured that when the opportunity presents itself I will be blogging again.

May the little innocent soul of "Poppy" thru the mercy of God rest in peace, Amen

Hey there, make sure you say hi to baby Gotway (your auntie) cause I am pretty sure it was another baby girl. One day we will see you face to face, until then rest safely in the arms of God.

Sleep tight little one.

It is Saturday 5/26/12 and finally a day without any drama.  It has been a very hot quiet day.  I took a 45 minute bike ride today and contemplated my impending grandmother-hood.  As each day passes and things are holding in there my excitement level builds.  I just wish we could tell everyone we know and make life a lot easier.  I understand waiting, but so many people know, but not the related people and that makes it very difficult.  I am terrified I am going to slip up again and so is granny.

I am guessing Em is having a better day today.  I believe she has been surviving on just Tylenol both yesterday and today and they are out at the movies this afternoon.  That tells me she is having less pain and is healing.  She is being such a trooper about the pain meds.  I know she has to have pain but is forgoing the narcotics for the sake of "poppy".  That brings tears to my eyes, but is exactly what I would have done in the same situation.  Good strong girl, she wasn't raised to be a sissy :-)   As a mom, you do all the things that you have to do for the sake of your child, born or unborn. 

Way to go my sweet girl!

Friday - May 25, 2012

It has been a crazy couple of days.  Poor baby had a night after surgery on Wednesday.  I had to go by her house on Thursday morning to make calls to the surgeons office and the ob/gyn office.  The vicodin they gaver her did not cut the pain and waas making her very dizzy and lightheaded.  We didn't want to continue to take the darvacet she had from 3 years ago until we knew from the ob that is was okay for the baby.  Well...that stuff has been taken off the market and they said not to take it at all.

I fed her and got her as comfortable as I could, and left her in the hands of her friend Jennee.  It killed me to leave her, but I had to put in a day at the office.  I was really starting to miss it.  I knew she was in good hands but leaving her so pitiful was very hard.

The surgeons office finally called in a new script and after taking the new meds she said the pain level was cut in half, and she didn't feel like she didn't want to die any more.  Then last night she slept very well, and in talking to her this morning, she sounded soooooo very much better and she felt so much better too.

After cleaning my house, I made a trip to Babys-R-Us for a pregnancy journal and to just look around.  It was really fun, and my excitement level got a tremendous boost.  So much cute and fun stuff.

While casually shopping I got another phone call...what's wrong...What am I going to do with these too?  Micah was taken to the urgent care with severe back pain.  She felt very helpless (I can relate to that).  They concluded that he had strained a muscle in his back and sent him home with muscle relaxers and anti-inflamatories.  She was propped up on the love seat, and he was on his back on the couch.  What a pair.

I went into mom mode and got their house cleaned.  Though it was a lot of work and I am pooped, it was kinda fun. and.... I finally feel like I was able to taker care/mother them.  I love being a mom, and I love taking care of my baby.  Though fully grown, she will always be my baby.  Knowing that my baby is going to be have a baby leaves me anticipating some tremendous changes in her. 

One can't fully understand motherhood until one becomes a mother.

Oh yeah, I picked up a really cute stuffed dog and pacifier with a bear attached for poppy today.  This grammy thing is going to get expensive.  I may have to keep working for quite a long time :)

Tuesday - May 22, 2012

Not much sleep last night. Lots of tossing and turning.  So much running thru my mind.  The one thing that is definitely clear is that I must get up and go to mass this morning.  I have been doing that ever since I became "semi-retired", but I am driven to get there this morning.

Filled with excitement and anticipation, I grabbed the pair of "baby socks" and put them in my pocket.  The joy in my heart and the love and gratitude for my God has me nearly bursting at the seams.  But...I am also needing to fall on my knees to pray for the health and well-being of this unborn child, my grandchild.  Sometimes I feel like God has to tire of me asking for stuff.  Lucky for me I know that He does not and he is always waiting with open arms for any and all my prayers.

Tuesday mornings before mass we have the Perpetual Help Devotions.  Prayers to our Blessed Mother asking for her intercession in all we do and say.  These prayers are simple and beautiful and I enjoy them very much.  I used to attend these services with my mom many years ago, and she took her mother a very long time ago.  They are near and dear to my heart.  I was so looking forward to the praise and thanksgiving that they provide my soul as well.

As we sat and waited, no one came to do the prayers.  The two alter servers came out and grabbed the candles, but no deacon or priest came out to lead the prayers.  I made a decision to "take the bull by the horns" so to speak and went to the ambo and asked the congregation for permission to lead the prayers.  They answered with a resounding yes.  Nervously I lead the prayers to our Blessed Mother.  It was so uplifting and my heart was so overjoyed at doing this.  I will not hesitate next time.

After mass I approached Msr. Ted and told him about my baby socks and what a wonderful gift/miracle I had been given.  I truly want to shout from the mountain tops that "Our God is and Awesome God".  He responded that he sees these little miracles every day and indeed our God is amazing.

Spent the day with my baby girl.  She had done another test in the morning and again had the same faint line.  I do believe she is convinced!

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Emily was scheduled for surgery at 7:00 a.m. this morning at the health center in St. Charles.  After having spend the last 2 days with her and not sleeping well since Saturday, I decided I wasn't going in unless I just happened to wake up and could make it on time.  Well...of course I woke at 4:30 a.m.  GO FIGURE!  I sent her a little text which took me forever to send because I was deleriously tired and my fingers were not working and said good luck and I am going back to sleep.  You know what they say about best laid plans...going back to sleep was not in the cards so I went ahead and headed to the hospital.  I got there just in time to find out that she had a "light" positive pregnancy test there and they were going to do bloodwork just to confirm.

THEY ARE DEFINITELY PREGNANT!!!!

The anesthesiologist told her he was going to have to do a spinal block since that was the only safe way to do surgery at this point.  This was a sense of relief, but also made her a bit anxious and nervous.  He made it sound like it was a piece of cake, but that didn't really comfort her.

They took her to surgery and Micah and I headed to the waiting area.  He left to go to Plaza as he had left his wallet there.  I guess it was a relief knowing I was there should something come up.  Knowing Em was anxious and nervous made me the same way and what do I do when I am like that, well...I call my mom.  I told her they had taken her back and that she was anxious and nervous.  She asked why that was and I just very non-chalantly told her that well she was getting a spinal block.  Of couse she asked why that and out it came...well she had a positive pregnancy test and they did bloodwork to make sure and the only safe way was a block...oh "S-word".  I wasn't supposed to tell her, they wanted to.  I FEEL TERRIBLE!!!  She is excited but I had to swear her to secrecy.  I didn't want to tell her, and it wasn't even fun doing it.  It was all so clinical and sterile, not fun and happy and surprisey.  What a BUMMER!!!  I told Micah as soon as he got back and he took the news like a trouper.

Em came out of surgery with flying colors.  She has a long plate and 7 new screws in her ankle along with the original screw that was put in place.  The doc was unable to remove it.  I had to tell Em I told her granny about the baby.  Oh how I hated to do that.  She wasn't happy, just a bit disappointed.  Oh well...again life doesn't always go as planned.

I realize as I type this that we have so very much to be thankful for.  We are so blessed.  Emily has been put back together.  Surgery went well, and we are going to have an addition to our family.  Life is some kind of wonderful even as it throws those curves our way.

Monday May 21, 2012

On Saturday I was awakened with the dreaded phone call with Emily's voice on the other end (not that I dread her voice being on the other end), but I knew immediately that something was up (it was Saturday at 7:30 a.m.).  She had broken her ankle again.  That brings us to the phone call I received early this morning.

Again I could immediately tell by the tone in her voice that something was not quite right.  There was a sense of urgency and a bit of panic in her voice.

We knew that because this ankle had been fractured 3 years ago that it was going to need to be surgically repaired again, and had been joking all weekend that (after 10 months of trying to get pregnant) watch this be the time it finally worked.  Well...she had taken a pregnancy test in the middle of the night and she thought the result was negative.  Upon looking again after she got up in the morning, there was a faint line.  Was this an evaporation line, was this a positive result, the questions just kept on coming, but she was out of tests.  So this brings me to the urgency and panic in ther voice.  Mom, what time are you coming over, I need you to stop and pick up another pregnancy test.

Oh my, this was not what I was expecting to hear!  There was joy, panic, happiness, sadness, hope, and fear all at the same time.  Wanting a grandchild so very badly, but knowing that surgery was imminent, not a splendid combination.  Besides, I always thought there would be some cutsey little off-guard, surprise, we are expecting and you are going to be grandparents kind of announcement.  Well, life has a way of throwing you curve balls, and you had better be ready to step up to the plate and start swinging.

After making arrangements for her doctor visit and coordinating everything with work, I headed out to pick up the needed test/tests and hope for a more conclusive answer.  Upon reading the instructions thoroughly and Em looking up as much information on-line as she could find, it was pretty well decided that she needed to do another test, but more than likely she was pregnant.  Next test in hand she went about taking the necessary steps and within 2 minutes there was defintely a faint line.  Well...it was not an evaporation line and from what we read it seems that she must be pregnant.  Again there was joy, panic, happiness, sadness, hope and fear at the same time.

She called the ob/gyn office and was assured that the hospital, doctors, anesthesiologists, etc...would all take the necessary precautions and that not to worry, it would all be just fine.

We sat and talked about it all and I had a complete breakdown.  You see early in the month of May at church on Sunday, while again bothering God about wanting a grandchild and praying that Emily and Micah would soon conceive, I asked for a sign that would let me know that it was even possible. We were all beginning to have some doubts. I received such a sign.  As I went to sit down I thought there was a tissue on the floor but looking closer it appeared it was a sock.  I picked it up and it was a beautiful pair of clean white baby socks.  I thanked God and had a sense of peace that she indeed would be pregnant very soon.  As we left church I told John what had happened and showed him the socks.  He just nodded and said uh-huh, that is nice.

Emily and I made a trip to TJMaxx one afternoon following the sock incident and I told her that God had given me a sign and that she was going to be pregnant.  She replied that she had a gut feeling this time as well. (part of that was she had an outing planned in Chicago the beginning of June and it was going to be a "fun" time and she just knew she wasn't going to be able to drink and had "fun")  This leads to the whole breakdown thing. 

I just looked at her and said "God sent me baby socks", and the floodgates FLEW open.  I not only cried, but I sobbed.  I was so moved by the love of my God and His clear message to me, a lowly and so unworthy servant, that my spirit just eruped and the tears were nearly uncontrolable.  I just kept saying "my God is an awesome God". That phrase rang thru my heart and my head the entire day.

After a visit to the doctor and a confirmation that surgery was needed.  They too reassured us that everything would be alright and that all necessary precautions would be taken.

When John and I finally got to be together (It is our 29th wedding anniversary), I looked at him and said again "God sent me baby socks" and the gates were opened again.  It took him a second to realize what I was saying and then I said "Happy Anniversary Grandpa".  We shared a few tears together and talked about our concerns for the baby and surgery. I think that just may have been the best anniversary present every. 

 Now we wait until Wednesday for surgery.