Monday May 21, 2012

On Saturday I was awakened with the dreaded phone call with Emily's voice on the other end (not that I dread her voice being on the other end), but I knew immediately that something was up (it was Saturday at 7:30 a.m.).  She had broken her ankle again.  That brings us to the phone call I received early this morning.

Again I could immediately tell by the tone in her voice that something was not quite right.  There was a sense of urgency and a bit of panic in her voice.

We knew that because this ankle had been fractured 3 years ago that it was going to need to be surgically repaired again, and had been joking all weekend that (after 10 months of trying to get pregnant) watch this be the time it finally worked.  Well...she had taken a pregnancy test in the middle of the night and she thought the result was negative.  Upon looking again after she got up in the morning, there was a faint line.  Was this an evaporation line, was this a positive result, the questions just kept on coming, but she was out of tests.  So this brings me to the urgency and panic in ther voice.  Mom, what time are you coming over, I need you to stop and pick up another pregnancy test.

Oh my, this was not what I was expecting to hear!  There was joy, panic, happiness, sadness, hope, and fear all at the same time.  Wanting a grandchild so very badly, but knowing that surgery was imminent, not a splendid combination.  Besides, I always thought there would be some cutsey little off-guard, surprise, we are expecting and you are going to be grandparents kind of announcement.  Well, life has a way of throwing you curve balls, and you had better be ready to step up to the plate and start swinging.

After making arrangements for her doctor visit and coordinating everything with work, I headed out to pick up the needed test/tests and hope for a more conclusive answer.  Upon reading the instructions thoroughly and Em looking up as much information on-line as she could find, it was pretty well decided that she needed to do another test, but more than likely she was pregnant.  Next test in hand she went about taking the necessary steps and within 2 minutes there was defintely a faint line.  Well...it was not an evaporation line and from what we read it seems that she must be pregnant.  Again there was joy, panic, happiness, sadness, hope and fear at the same time.

She called the ob/gyn office and was assured that the hospital, doctors, anesthesiologists, etc...would all take the necessary precautions and that not to worry, it would all be just fine.

We sat and talked about it all and I had a complete breakdown.  You see early in the month of May at church on Sunday, while again bothering God about wanting a grandchild and praying that Emily and Micah would soon conceive, I asked for a sign that would let me know that it was even possible. We were all beginning to have some doubts. I received such a sign.  As I went to sit down I thought there was a tissue on the floor but looking closer it appeared it was a sock.  I picked it up and it was a beautiful pair of clean white baby socks.  I thanked God and had a sense of peace that she indeed would be pregnant very soon.  As we left church I told John what had happened and showed him the socks.  He just nodded and said uh-huh, that is nice.

Emily and I made a trip to TJMaxx one afternoon following the sock incident and I told her that God had given me a sign and that she was going to be pregnant.  She replied that she had a gut feeling this time as well. (part of that was she had an outing planned in Chicago the beginning of June and it was going to be a "fun" time and she just knew she wasn't going to be able to drink and had "fun")  This leads to the whole breakdown thing. 

I just looked at her and said "God sent me baby socks", and the floodgates FLEW open.  I not only cried, but I sobbed.  I was so moved by the love of my God and His clear message to me, a lowly and so unworthy servant, that my spirit just eruped and the tears were nearly uncontrolable.  I just kept saying "my God is an awesome God". That phrase rang thru my heart and my head the entire day.

After a visit to the doctor and a confirmation that surgery was needed.  They too reassured us that everything would be alright and that all necessary precautions would be taken.

When John and I finally got to be together (It is our 29th wedding anniversary), I looked at him and said again "God sent me baby socks" and the gates were opened again.  It took him a second to realize what I was saying and then I said "Happy Anniversary Grandpa".  We shared a few tears together and talked about our concerns for the baby and surgery. I think that just may have been the best anniversary present every. 

 Now we wait until Wednesday for surgery.